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it's thursday morning. rain pouring. fall seattle morning. wood… - what i give to you is just what i am going through
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Thu, Oct. 30th, 2014 10:42 am
it's thursday morning. rain pouring. fall seattle morning.
wood stove burning. laying across the blue wool rug.
reading 'even cowgirls get the blues'. distracted by
how hard this life can be.

it's never been easy.
and in the moments when its been the hardest
i think 'my god this is the hardest!'.
yet here i am thinking this moment in my life is the hardest.


nothing is as hard as maintaining.
holding on
not letting it all fall away from you.

taking for granted
letting it fall apart
walking away
is the easiest.
it takes every bit of strength
every bit of fight
that can be mustered
to hold it together
holding on.

i think back to all those days spent in bars
the smoke
the jukebox
the laughing
the flirting
the sleeping in the beds of others without definition

it was a lonely living i was making.

i am thankful to be spending my afternoon lying on the floor in front of the fire reading a book and listening to the rain fall against my home.
to sit with her wrapped in my arms while she smiles and giggles and asks if we are going to carve pumpkins and if i'm going to make apple pie for her.

i am thankful he cuddles up to me in the morning while we watch cartoons together and i finish my first cup of coffee

im lucky she loves me despite all my crazy and arguing and sensitivities.

it's purposeful. its a choice. to show up and participate everyday.

Current Location: everett washington
Current Mood: fine
Current Music: americana

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