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what i give to you is just what i am going through
be curious---> photographs / box star spider / verismilitude / tll / then again July 2015
 
 
 
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Fri, Jul. 3rd, 2015 12:34 am

I will never forgive you

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Thu, Feb. 26th, 2015 08:59 pm
It's been three years and finally your words, your verbal abuse, your narcissism- I'm finally free of it!

Finally

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Sun, Feb. 15th, 2015 06:30 pm
I met you on the street
You were eating my brothers fig newtons
In my grandmothers house
After the princess microwaved mild Italian sausages and macaroni and cheese

Happy birthday my beautiful far away friend

She texted me
"You will never find anyone who likes you'

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Sat, Feb. 7th, 2015 01:59 am
What were you doing?

Smoking cigarettes
Dishing out diamonds
Pushing

Thanksgiving
and
the phone call goes on and on and
shhhhhhhhh

We can ignore this

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Thu, Oct. 30th, 2014 10:42 am
it's thursday morning. rain pouring. fall seattle morning.
wood stove burning. laying across the blue wool rug.
reading 'even cowgirls get the blues'. distracted by
how hard this life can be.

it's never been easy.
and in the moments when its been the hardest
i think 'my god this is the hardest!'.
yet here i am thinking this moment in my life is the hardest.


nothing is as hard as maintaining.
holding on
not letting it all fall away from you.

taking for granted
letting it fall apart
walking away
is the easiest.
it takes every bit of strength
every bit of fight
that can be mustered
to hold it together
holding on.

i think back to all those days spent in bars
the smoke
the jukebox
the laughing
the flirting
the sleeping in the beds of others without definition

it was a lonely living i was making.

i am thankful to be spending my afternoon lying on the floor in front of the fire reading a book and listening to the rain fall against my home.
to sit with her wrapped in my arms while she smiles and giggles and asks if we are going to carve pumpkins and if i'm going to make apple pie for her.

i am thankful he cuddles up to me in the morning while we watch cartoons together and i finish my first cup of coffee

im lucky she loves me despite all my crazy and arguing and sensitivities.

it's purposeful. its a choice. to show up and participate everyday.

Current Location: everett washington
Current Mood: fine
Current Music: americana

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Wed, Oct. 22nd, 2014 10:46 pm
Donkey Kong
Jerk

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Tue, Jul. 8th, 2014 10:06 pm

Sometimes you gotta get drunk, yell, and say loudly good riddance to those who hold you back, fuck with your head, and cause more harm than good. Adios amigos.


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Thu, May. 8th, 2014 06:58 am

Looking forward to looking forward


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Fri, Apr. 18th, 2014 09:31 pm
Yer a fucking ass

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Mon, Jan. 6th, 2014 01:17 pm
how you hid the knick nacks and tossed
them out
one by one
at random points of your
melancholy whiskey afternoons.
slipping off in sentimental rendezvous.
always wanting to be somewhere else.
we laughed on blankets in the summer evening
drinking wine and eating chocolates
as the sun came down over the cathedrals and fields
and the masks came off
slipping off in sentimental rendezvous.
not knowing where we wanted to be. armour.


west coast winter sunsets over the olympic mountain range are extraordinary.
what could we say
birds swoop in and fly away

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